Do you?

Some days I wonder, Do you still talk about me as much as I talk about you. Or do you tell ‘her’ about me, about how you and I shared a world of our own.

I wish if you do, you never say ‘it wasn’t love’. I wish you never make ‘her’ see my pictures and say ‘she was my mistake’.

Well I don’t know if you’ve found your ‘special someone’ but If you have, I wish you love her more than what you did to me. And she loves you more than what I did to you.

I ponder upon thoughts of whether you talk to your friends about me when you are all high and carefree. I don’t know if they’ll still laugh at me.

But if you do, do you tell them that you miss me? That there was a time we couldn’t even imagine ourselves apart. And today, here are we.

When I look around myself, I see many things that take me back to you. Things which I can still link you with. Huh, and then I pause and I think, an I the only one, or Do you also experience that?

If you do, do you put them off or do you just smile at them and move on? Do they bother you and make you think about how I am doing?

You know? Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I feel as if you’re still there. That you’d care. That I shall run back to you. But then, I look at myself closely, only to realize we are both happier. Maybe. Atleast that’s what I’d want to believe.

I wonder if you pass through a place, and link it back with me. ‘the first place we met at’, ‘the first place we hugged at’, ‘the first place we kissed at’ and so on…

do you? I do. I do, and hence I try to avoid the places that take me back to you. I avoid going towards those places because I know they’d make me weaker. They’d make me feel I shouldn’t have let you go. That I should’ve tried harder for ‘us’.

You know, when we were together, it wasn’t just things, or places that we shared. It wasn’t just a world that we made. It was beyond what we realised back then. We shared people too. We shared songs as well. We shared so much that it’d be impossible to line it all up here.

But cutting it short, Do you look at the boys selling the newspapers and the balloons down your home and recall ‘the first photograph of us together’? I do. Well, When I see them, I smile at them because they remind me of you.

Well do you come across the songs that I once dedicated to you, or the songs you dedicated to me? Do you skip them just like I do, or would you dedicate them to your ‘someone’ ?

Your ‘someone’ that I wanted to be. Now that I will never be. That’s what breaks my heart.

We could’ve fought the world for each other. We loved each other. Didn’t we?

You know? I’ve loved you and you’ve loved me to an extend that it breaks my heart now.

Why? Because I know, I will never fall in love with someone the way I did with you. I know no one will love me the way you did. And even if they do, I won’t be able to put so much of me into them as I did with you.

And you know what hurts the most? With you, I’ve also lost so much of me that I’d carry a heavy heart for the rest of my life, and there is absolutely nothing you or I could do about it.

(Hey! I wish you’d read this. I wish you’d now agree that it wasn’t just for sometime. That you meant the world to me.)